Breaking the silence: Making a difference through action, not words
Author: Dr Snita Ahir-Knight (she/her), Rākau Roroa, is a Lecturer and Programme Lead for the Lived Experience education and research programme World of Difference | He Ao Whakatoihara kore within the Department of Psychological Medicine, University of Otago – Ōtākou Whakaihu Waka, Wellington, Aotearoa New Zealand. Snita is a trained child and adolescent therapist, and social worker. She has more than 15 years’ experience working in the not-for-profit, community, and mental health sectors in New Zealand and the UK.
In this second piece on my evolving journey of openness, I reflect on a time when I was not widely open about my Lived Experience. It was a time when I only told a few close family members and friends. Part of the reason I was not open about my Lived Experience was due to worries about how my work colleagues would react. This was a time when I was not in a Lived Experience role.
The professional world often feels like a place where we're expected to present our ‘best selves’, the polished version that aligns with a specific idea of success. I was worried what any openness about my Lived Experience would cost me. Would my colleagues treat me differently? Would it change how I was perceived or even limit my career opportunities?
On the one hand, I knew how empowering it had been to share my journey with friends and loved ones. But the workplace? That’s a different environment entirely. The risk of being judged, passed over for opportunities, or even treated differently kept me quiet for a long time. And I know others feel the same way. Sometimes, it’s easier to stay silent, to avoid the potential discomfort or bias, than to be open and risk being seen as less capable and face discrimination. So I chose not to be open in the workplace about my Lived Experience for many years.
Reflecting on that time, I realise something important: you don’t have to share everything to make a difference. In the workplace, change doesn’t have to be driven by personal openness about one’s Lived Experience. It’s possible to create positive change through the work we do, not necessarily through what we reveal about ourselves.
Stock image credit: Jazmin Tabuena, capturenow
I remember one time, in a team meeting, we were talking about stress management. I thought about sharing how my Lived Experience had shaped my approach to a work-life balance, but then I hesitated. Would this make my colleagues uncomfortable? Would they think less of me for sharing something so personal? Would they question my judgement and competency? Instead of revealing my Lived Experience, I used my expertise and my understanding of the topic to push for changes that benefitted everyone, such as initiatives for inclusivity, mental health, and welfare.
I remember another instance when discussing leadership styles. We were exploring ways to improve our team dynamics, and I had the opportunity to contribute my thoughts. I knew that my Lived Experience had shaped the way I approached leadership, especially when it came to empowering others and fostering an inclusive environment. Instead of being transparent about my Lived Experience, I focused on the principles behind my leadership style – the importance of empathy, inclusivity, and understanding in building strong teams. I advocated for regular team-building activities that could help strengthen communication and trust among us, and I worked to create a supportive atmosphere where everyone felt comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas. Even without being open about my Lived Experience, I used this expertise to push for positive change within the team.
These examples demonstrate the idea that being open about one’s Lived Experience is not always necessary to make an impact. It’s possible to advocate for change in a way that is meaningful without being open if the timing or environment don’t feel right.
I came to peace with the decision not to share my Lived Experience for many years because not everyone needs to be open about their Lived Experience to make a difference. Sometimes, using your lived knowledge to advocate for others is powerful.
What I’ve learned is that being open about one’s Lived Experience is a deeply personal decision, and each of us must make it on our own terms. It’s important to weigh up the potential cost of being open, especially in environments where Lived Experience may not be fully accepted. What matters most is the impact we have, not necessarily how much of ourselves we choose to reveal. Change happens both through the big, loud moments of openness, and the quiet, consistent work we do to make the world around us better for everyone.
In the end, I chose to be widely open about my Lived Experience, but that is not a choice for everyone. Sometimes, the timing is not right, or the environment isn’t prepared for such openness. The important thing is to continue advocating for positive change in whatever way feels most authentic to you.